One weekend a lawyer from the 'Big Smoke' decided to go bird hunting in the countryside. The lawyer around and found a good hunting spot near a farm. The lawyer sees a bird, shoots it and watches fall to the ground on the other side of the fence.
The lawyer, thinking to himself that's my bird I have to go get it, climbs the fence retrieves the bird and climbs back. Just as he gets back over the farmer comes up to him and says, "give me my bird." The lawyer says to him " Your bird? No no no I shot this bird.... it is mine."
"No" says the farmer,"it landed on my property it is mine." "Look" says the lawyer, "I am a lawyer, I will sue you , you will lose and I will get the duck."
"No" says the farmer, "that's not how we do it around here, we use the three kick rule."
"Ok" says the lawyer, how does that work?"
"I kick you three times as hard as I can, than you kick me as hard as you an three times and we keep going until one of us gives up."
The lawyer was a big guy who played sport, and eyeing this dumb farmer he estimated the guy was just 2/3 his weight and size and had to be pushing 45.
"Fine" says the lawyer, "let's go."
"I go first" says the famer. So the famer kicks lawyer as hard as he can right in the groin.
And just as lawyer is bent over in pain the famer kicks him right in the face. now just as the lawyer is thinking what did I get myself into the farmer kicks him in the balls again.
The farmer clamly watches the lawyer moan and writhe on the ground.
After the lawyer gets over the agonizing pain he staggers to his feet and says weakly "My turn."
" No" the farmer says, "I quit.You can have the duck."