Give me strength brothers

[Spode]

Been invited to someone for dinner tonight that I used to work with. They are making roast pork. I am going to have a snack before I go.

It’s going to be bad, I can sense it.

People stuff it in an oven and dry it out for 1.5 hours and its grey and needs gravy to wash it down.

I slow smoke it for 8-12 hours and it falls apart it’s so soft. After that I dread going to people’s houses if they make roasts. I actually make excuses to not go to some people for Sunday lunch as I know what they will use their oven for!

I even had a friend dry out a piece of pork belly so much it was like fibre.

Sin and scandal!

[bbqmad]

Walk tall.....stay strong......and remember your Q's will be there tommorow

[Grill Pro Australia]

Too funny. Until just over a year ago, I did the same thing, but not in an oven, in a different type of BBQ with heat beads with similar average - bad results.

I suppose what you don't know, doesn't hurt you, but once you have tasted really good BBQ its hard to go back.

Cheers, Dave

[Smokey]

And whats worse is you cant say anything or else look like a D__K
Ya just have to suck it up

Some tips, (And Ive used them all)
1) say that you had the trotts earlier in the day and would only like a VERY small portion.
2) Say that your on a no meat diet by stricked doctors orders.
3) When no body is looking slide your meal onto your wifes plate (Its her bloody friends anyway)
4) Only take the salad and one small bit of meat. make loud "oohs and arrs" how good it is but dont eat the meat. Leave that piece till the end and say "Im stuffed" and push it away from you.
5) Tell them you just had a chalk milkshake or fasting for a chalk milkshake as the next day there testing to see if your gord is not an ulser.


Like the raffle ticket trick, You only get one shot per excuse, I think Ive been found out as now the wifes oddball friends ring me and ask how to cook things before we arive

[urbangriller]

Develop a throat ulcer...then you can't talk, or eat....only drinking soothes it!

Chris

[Percel]

Take photos of the decaying remains

[edgy]

Tell em you've turned vegetarian?

If that fails, copious amounts of jack... Consume till you have ten fingers per hand!


Other than that.... I got nothing

[Narmnaleg]

Tell em you're raising money for the NoPorkember cause and ask them for a donation

[Smokey]

Tell em you're raising money for the NoPorkember cause and ask them for a donation

Now that is smart, Throw in a reason then make them choose to give . Totaly masking the lame reason

[paulr]

Stay strong !!
I did a 6 hour roast pork on the weekend (not the 10-11 hours version) and it came out great.....

Happy BBQ-ing Paul

[Spode]

I'm back. I couldn't have made it without your support, and their rather good roast potatoes and yorkshire pudding.

The pork was grey and bland so I scaled back the portion, but made up for it with desert!

We even had a discussion on how they didn't boil their vegetables to limp death like their parents used to , but I kept my mouth shut about the meat. They were proud to be putting on a roast.

I am going to have them around and introduce them to the WSM.

[Davo]

I can't believe I'm reading this....yes we do bettter tucker than the average Joe coz we know better techniques but what I see here is complete snobbery towards people who thought enough of you to invite.

Unless the meal is undercooked and deemed unsafe, I think its just good manners to be there and enjoy the evening.

Just remember how you used to cook before you know how.
Cheers
Davo

[Spode]

Davo, relax and see the intention which is humour, in a BBQ centric forum.

[Davo]

Spode,
I actually do understand the humour and context of the OP however its some of the replys and excuses others use which makes me shake my head....wondering that many of these excuses are really being used towards well meaning people.

Cheers

Davo

[Smokey]

did you forget something Davo ?